Rating:

(Capitol, 2006) Whatever happend to the likely lads of 2001/2002? The garage rock revival was supposed to be the saving grace of “real” rock and roll. At the very least, it saved us from more of that moronic rap rock that had become so prevelant in the late ’90s. The Vines were a part of that crowd, along with the Strokes, the Hives, B.R.M.C., and the White Stripes. With the release of their first album, Highly Evolved, the Vines were the first of these bands to be on the cover of the ever decling Rolling Stone. They were hailed as conquering heroes. Untill the band had to tour. Then the realities of being Frontman Craig Nichols became a burden he didn’t want to bear.

Diagnosed with Asperger syndrome after the release of dour second album, Winning Days, Nichols at least had a name for what he was fighting. Asperger is a neurobiological disorder that keeps its sufferers from adjusting to social situations. Those afflicted often exhibit compulisve narrow minded behavior, and crave sameness. With this new knowledge in hand, this reviewer felt confident that the Vines would make a triumphant return. The symptoms of the disorder reflected perfectly the erratic behavior Nichols had displayed since he was thrust into the spotlight. Maybe they would record an album of commentary on the trivialities of common social interaction, or maye I just expected too much. After the complete remake of Highly Evolved that was Winning Days, I was hoping for something a little different. Just maybe a glimmer of hope for the band. Vision Valley delivers not a glimmer, but a ten thousand pound hammer of repetition that is indeed catchy, but highly loathsome.

“Anysound” starts off with a traditional riff one would expect from the Vines. The first 45 seconds of the song are some of the best on the whole album. After the typical “Nothin’s Comin’”, which includes the lyrical nugget “All for one, ain’t nothin’ real/Tell you how I fuckin’ feel”, comes the pseudo power pop of “Candy Daze” Bet you can’t guess what is next. That’s right, a ballad. Does everyone have their Noel Gallagher handbook to ballad writing? Let’s go through the checklist for the title track:
1. Big Strings….check.
2. Nonsensical lyrics….check.
3. Lots of ooooooh’s and aaaaaahhh’s……check.
4. Stretch thin idea into repetitive struggle that never seems to end…..check.
You get the idea. The big first single “Don’t Listen to the Radio” has a chorus so catchy you may just wonder what the hell “Get out the way today, yeah!!” means. Other lowlights include “Fuk Yeh”, “Futuretarded” and “Gross Out”. All of which vie for the title of worst Nirvana wannabe song of the year. The albums pattern of Nirvana-esque rock, and crappy ballads continues untill the last track, “Spaceship” which tries to include Pink Floyd-esque atmospherics to a bland ballad.

It is too bad the Vines have blown the opportunity do with their third album what some of their peers in the “garage rock revival” have done. The White Stripes stripped their signature guitar buzz for piano and marimba on Elephant. (Granted, Elephant was the Stripes’ fifth album, but their third in the public eye.) B.R.M.C. made a countrified, down home album with HOWL. The Strokes even made a record that sounds like it was produced, on First Impressions of Earth. However, The Vines have chosen to make the same record. Again. Not even a glimmer hope emerges from the sludge. If they don’t deliver with album number four, they may find themselves out of the big leagues forever. And the question that continues to appear is “Would anyone care?” After listening to Vision Valley, the answer is “Probably not.”

 1. Anysound

 2. Nothins Comin

 3. Dandy Daze

 4. Vision Valley

 5. Don’t Listen to the Radio

 6. Gross Out

 7. Take Me Back

 8. Going Gone

 9. Fuk Yeh

10. Futuretarded

11. Dope Train

12. Atmos

13. Spaceship

Buy album

– Jeff Crowder

This 15-beetsreview was posted on July 31st, 2006. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.